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Rooms

I wanted to start this post out with a very deep and provocative quote about the many rooms of the heart. All I found was a Faith Hill song.

The first time I heard the heart/spirit/soul referred to in terms of sections and rooms and such, it was in church. The pastor would stand on the altar and sway, lamenting to all of us that Jesus deserved all of our hearts, that it wasn’t okay to stow away badness or mean thoughts or deeds in a closet of your heart. He wanted us to throw open the doors of every room, even the heartclosets and heartbasements.

The imagery was effective. The flinging open of all hidden parts and baring of soul. It made you wish to be clean. Or at the very least, to go home and vacuum.

Theology aside, I think that’s the definition of a soulmate. Someone you can tell absolutely anything, without worry of reprimand or judgement. To give yourself fully to another person requires that you are the epitome of vulnerable, and it isn’t easy to come by.

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I also think that’s why so many relationships fail. In the beginning, when it’s all roses, you have no secrets and everything is airy and clean.

As time passes, things get dirty. Dusty. Something happens that you keep to yourself in the name of preserving peace, or sparing feelings. An irresponsible purchase. A bruised ego. A forgotten bill, covered up to keep aggravation away. A broken promise. A disappointment.

Slowly, things go from open and wartsandall honest, to pasted on smiles and passwords.

In a perfect world, every room in your heart would be open to the person you love.

I don’t know if thats really possible. Of course there will be those who claim to have such openness, and maybe some do.

As for me, I suppose the best I can hope for is a good cleaning out once in a while. To open the doors and sweep out the sludge and hope for the best.

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About emylibef

I'm a wife, a mother, and many other things. I have blogged my life for over six years now, and this blog is the culmination of several blogs. In other words, I'm trying to get it all together. Bear with me.

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