This won’t be well written or pretty. Bump that. I apparently can’t do that anymore.
Since I last posted, a lot of things have happened.
Josh has a job now, and while for that I’m jumping in joy, it’s odd not having him with me every day. Not hearing his music or hearing him snipe at whatever episode of Hell’s Kitchen he happens to be watching. It’s lonely sometimes. It’s not that I’m codependent or that I needed him here or anything…it was just nice to have another person in the building, one who was just here. Hard to explain, I guess.
Easter came and went. We hunted eggs and posed for pictures like we do.
I knitted a shopping bag for my friend Michaele, since she’s moving away soon and a shopping bag would appeal to her crunchy granola-ish demeanor. I used the Mineco pattern and it didn’t turn out perfectly (and yes, that’s an awful picture), but I think she liked it. I’m making one for my sister, too, but I’ve already missed her birthday. Stephanie, you didn’t read that.
Last week was depressing. My children’s uncle and his wife lost their little boy just days before he was to be born. I cannot begin to tell you how sobering that whole time was. To be slapped in the face with life and death, and to care so much, and be able to do so little…one feels very helpless.
Some church friends of ours lost their son as well. An otherwise healthy and vibrant not-yet-50 year old man, just taken. Leaving two little girls and a wife.
Since last week I’ve thought a great deal about what I would do in the event of an unexpected death. To lose Josh, one of the kids, one of my parents, anyone close. Really. I’ve thought about it a LOT, and I still don’t know what I would do. I feel kind of disrespectful even writing this, because I have no clue of the ache of that actual kind of loss. I apologize if I shouldn’t be talking like this because I don’t know what I’m saying.
Anyway, it’s been an interesting week. How’s everyone else?