At what point did it all turn, did I become ashamed?
Today I turned from a counter at work where I was hunched over a map, trying to find a street I wasn’t sure existed in this city I was raised in, and came face to face with my eighth grade English teacher. This is the teacher that everyone has, the one who believed in me no matter what and vocalized that belief, often. She submitted my writing to contests and gave me assignments that weren’t graded just to “see what I would do with it”.
I saw her, and I suddenly felt guilty for becoming none of what she’d encouraged me to be. I wanted to hide, to lie to myself for just a bit. Not to be a bookstore clerk but to be something amazing. Something people aspire to become.
When did I become ashamed of being…myself?